Tuesday, December 25, 2012

First Christmas in a new home

I made cookies.


Our wheat grass is huge and there is wool and some knitting in progress.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Cycling Gloves

Lately I've been sad and tired and preoccupied with life mysteries so I hadn't had the spirit to write about this experience.

But I cooked and ate well. I socialised and entertained, I even went and saw exhibition "Elves" (Vilenjaci) in Zapresic.


I cycled and ran and hiked and practiced aerobics and stretched and did some yoga. I bought less and saved more and I managed to focus my energy on small steps that add up to big changes. Like acquiring new skills while still using them to make useful and usable things.

Exactly as this lovely new pair of Ringwoods made using new bind-off and weaving ends techniques.


I finished them yesterday during knitting group I thought to try for size and organize at my place on Thursdays.


They'll keep my hands toasty while I'm cycling on cold days.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Mark Lanegan @Pauk

With first news of Mark Lanegan playing in Zagreb I binded myself to seeing that show. Now, after being there to testify to that experience I am rather irresolute writting about it.

It was a mixture of pleasure and pain, scintillating bitter sweetness of rapture and regret, missfortunate chain of events attesting to nothing more than to current sociocultural era of vapidness, vanity and poverty that leads to having strange bedfellows.

Maybe I am snobbish in my approach to concerts but me being a snob does not change the facts and the fact is PAUK should never ever be used as a house of music. It is too disjointed, has too much reverberation points and distorts even the simplest and clearest sounds. It does no favors to artists and it tramples the experience for a listener. This concert was not announced to be at PAUK but, awkward enough, concert was sold out and moved from NKC Park (400 tickets) to bigger venue, horrible PAUK club (1300 tickets).

I am very sad this happened because of two things: because I am absolutely sure Žedno Uho would appreciate better venues for their concerts as Mate is nothing short than true connosseur of music and also artists' promoter, caring deeply for artists and treating them as dear friends, but I'm also aware that there are non-insignifficant financial and other reasons behind concert ending up where it ended. Second thing that bugs me is the situation behind this concert being sold out.

I would love nothing more than concerts being sold out to fans, friends, simpatizers and people open to new experiences but being there I would not dare to say that 30% of people in PAUK ever heard Mark Lanegan's music, no matter which his career era we're talking about. Rather expensive tickets these days in Zagreb go mostly to people of all ages who know (or care) nothing about music but like to be seen attending events, people who cannot find their place in slim to nonexisting 30+ club scene, misfits who use concert-night as an excuse not to be somewhere where they think they ought to be.

Sad but true.

On the other hand, there were upsides to this story also.


Creature With the Atom Brain were very interesting  and hearing them there I immediately wished to know more about them and listen to more of their songs.


Mr. Lanegan was Dr. Cool.

He was so cool he stood in his own coolness bubble and he owned the space spreading five meters in every direction. He hardly moved and scarcely emoted and he was utterly magnifficent. When he started singing I had such visceral feeling of content and excitement that small hairs on the back of my neck rose with tingles...


... and as my ears hurt and my soul bled I scoured PAUK in search of a better listening spot and I found one, just behind the sound station.


This is the only spot without awkward echo because it has extremely low ceiling and I stayed there for the duration of the show. They played my current favorite, "Grey goes black", while I was already "in the den" and I was grateful and pleased I did not stay at front.

After the encore, guy from CWAB came on stage and said: "Just one more announcement, dear friends: after the show Mark will be at merch stand talking to fans and signing whatever you want signed." and this was so warm and welcoming I loved the sound and the idea of it.

In the end I thawed a bit to this experience and went home pleased.

I'd like to see him sing again.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Fjodor and Zechs Marquise @ NKC Park 10Nov2012

As I entered NKC park Fjodor were just beggining to play and I was immediately captured with their stunning display of ability.

Wonderful stuff.

Their music is clearly propelled by drums and the guy playing them was all just one flexible muscle, in shorts, full of energy and already dripping wet. Sound was not too loud and it was cristal clear, vibrant and refreshing and beautiful.  Bass was communicating with the audience and guitarist played impressively fast changing chords with lightning speed and with exquisite audio-results. I just stood there in front of the stage, my jaw hanging open, transfixed and overjoyed through their set. I liked how they communicated with each other and I loved how they looked happy and surprised by audience reception. Can't wait the album that they announced and I'm really looking forward to seeing them play again soon.

After some rearranging, Zechs Marquise assumed positions:

The thing with me and Zechs Marquise music is simple.

They were introduced to me by a friend when their Getting Paid album just got out. This is firm rock stuff, King Crimsony melodic figures and psychodelic overtures envoking kind of lust for life, joie de vivre, unleashed passion urging scenes and feelings Hunter Thompson could think of and peruse. When I listen to it I am overrun with desire and kind of fine nostalgia of times passed, times containing unsafe sex, smoking and illicit substances. Later on, I got their earlier album Our Delicate Stranded Nightmare (2008.) which is more ambiental and wonderfully theatrical and instead of  producing sense of dissapointment (as it wasn't similar to Getting Paid) it just made perfect sense. Where they're coming from and what are they coming towards. And I hardly waited (lusted, actually) to see how it will sound like live.

It was great.



As they performed songs from both albums it also made perfect sense live. Sound was really good and audience attentive so all the parts, even ambiance sounds and odd pings, were audible. Guys were in good spirits and talkative and I was impressed with how fresh they seemed in the light of their busy itinerary (I suspect I would be less than perky if I woke up every day in another country and had a gig to perform every night). There were oodles of couples in the audience and people danced, Saturday night was imbued with festive feeling, even Mate Škugor danced and had good time and didn't dedicate whole evening just to control if everything is running smoothly.

Yet smoothly it ran. And it was great.
After the show I scuttled absent-mindedly through Park Ribnjak and into my car followed by my ferverous nostalgia. Bubbling cauldron of x-rated ideas bubbled away happily in my mind.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Family Affair - The Revival Tour 2012 @Mocvara 06Nov2012

Most people, even the ones that surmise to know me well, I do not strike as a familial person that values much bonds of biological connectedness and for most of the concept those people are right.

Family is not blood bond. Family is love bond.

Even my brother, about which I most of the time feel only mild contempt, is a person I fiercely fight with and whose opinion I take into consideration even when it is polar opposite of my own. We grew up together, laughed together, cried together, broke each other's noses, ended one another's relationships, spat on one another's values and in the end we always found it in one's self to say things as they are and have a cup of coffee together afterwards. It is a demanding, turbulent love that never ceases to expand the borders of our tolerance and it is a love that gives the greatest gift of all - certainty that there will always, no matter what I do or what life will bring, always there will be that person in my corner giving me support and cheering me on.

That is what I mean saying that "family is a love bond"...

... and that is what Chuck Ragan's music speaks to me.

I could hardly wait his Revival Tour to come to Zagreb and now I've seen them play I can only say I wish I knew more musicians like that. More people like that.

They started as a family - all together on stage, sharing goodwill and good music with one another and with us:
And they continued to play, coming into spotlight one by one, communicating and supporting and performing.

I especially liked Cory Branan who proved to be excellent storyteller in live performance. He is so cute; with wavy hair and big blue eyes and yet so expressive and explicit  it was wonderful to see that discrepancy in action.

As you can see, Ginsberg lost his mustache (I was shocked for a minute or twenty - he looks great with them I was perplexed why he'd give them up).

Emily Barker is so beautiful none of the promo pictures give her justice and also has exquisite voice. As I usualy dislike female vocals and can bear only few of them this fondness surprised even me.


Jay sang some king of sailor song that I cannot remember the name of for the life of me but that was really great...

... and as there were so many of them and they just played one after another without pause it was a bit much for Tuesday after work. Nevertheless, the music was great and the feeling of camaraderie warm and persuasive.

They even bonded with one of the audience as our ambassador of goodwill:


Great, heartwarming performance and emotion-stirring experience.

Chuck Ragan has a tatoo "Forever Family".

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Reading Minds

Qualia is a term assigned to subjective conscious experience, "the way a thing seems to a person" and it is extremely personal and ineffable. It is redness of red, taste of beer or feel of touch/pressure of lovers lips pressed against your upper thigh. It is pure perception; raw material used to make each of us the person we are.

Qualia is important to me.

I see world as a sequential place. Adding and subtracting variables makes for different pictures. Better recognition and knowledge of mechanics and timing of puzzle pieces contributes to finer, more sophisticated pictures and those pictures are what I work with and deeply care about. Sometimes I write stories or poems celebrating this experience, other times I make people's relationships work or facilitate efficacy improvements in their daily routines - those are all pictures I deeply care about. It takes a lot of observation, some directional small scale experimentation and a bit of persuasion lovingly wrapped in personalised gift wrappers.

But in my relationships I forget to behave, I forget to emote, I just do not share. I'd like for my significant others, friends and lovers alike, to just read my mind. My rational self knows for a fact that that can not and will not work no matter how hard I wish for it to work but my emotional self will not have that notion and me being so stringent in my daily business somehow gives unwarranted leeway to my emotional self to kick ass of my rational self.

So where does qualia come in in this picture?

It precedes all the notions, all the pictures, and as such it defines them in my universe. Sole recognition of the existence of qualia (unique personal ineffable conscious experience quality) makes everything I do, everything I see, everyone I think about or work with unique: we may go down the same path, meet same objects/subjects, observe same events but our brainbox will always dish out personalised data track contributing to different attributions and resulting in behavioral variations.

I'd actually like to be treated like that. Similar but unique. That is my expectation from my significant others that often stays unmet.

Why is that?


                                       x                             x                               x

This is second post in On Relationships (tag) series.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

On Relationships

On a beautiful autumn morning I drive to work through town, admiring crisp yellow sunshine and leaves that turned red. Arriving to Kennedy square my retinae are splashed with million shades of green since different kind of trees are planted there and they have not yet heard that autumn is here. There is silence in my ears and my soul is at peace. At that moment I bask in the sun of pure content, bliss of enjoyment in present moment.

For some time now I rumminate on things concerning relationships which I see or which my friends share with me, things that sadden and exhilarate me, blissful things, sordid things, things that are. I'd like to put them into perspective of my own life. I will do this for my own education, pleasure and amusement. I will do this by listing them here and by inspecting and re-thinking them here so there will be written proof of how I once considered them - proof to remember and to return to when needed.

The biggest issue in the story about relationships seems to be incongruity of expectations.

What expectations?

Many, actually. Whole whirlwind of expectations falling victim to false consensus bias. Expectations we often have just because we never questioned their desirability or worth. Things we accepted at face value just because they were always done like that, because it is safer not to question them so we could have some structure in this treacherous, unpredictable territory.

The thing I'd like to start with is qualia.

                                                x                           x                         x

This is the first post in On Relationships (tag) series.



Sunday, October 7, 2012

Maybeshewill @Attack! 28Sep2012

Back in February 2010 while I was getting my festival accreditation for Žedno Uho #11 I exchanged  few e-mails with Mate Skugor suggesting that he brings Maybeshewill to Zagreb. He was very receptive and polite but, as it often happens, life brought unforseen turmoils so this fell off the radar.

Two years later, Maybeshewill was announced to perform at Attack! on May 11th 2012 and I bought the ticket the minute they were released. There was a bit more waiting involved but on Friday September 28th 2012 I finally got to see Maybeshewill perform in Zagreb.

It was well worth the wait.

As usually, I got to Attack! early to see everyone and poke my nose into everything. First thing I noticed entering almost empty Attack! was minimalist setup on stage - fact that left me flabbergasted. As evening moved along I was no less confused but after the gig I have to say that it was the perfect greeting for this evening of pure perfection.

First ones on stage were Rens Argoa.
From the first moment they began to play I was utterly impressed with beautifully set, christalline sound that covered wonderfully whole Attack! floor. Small supporting bands usualy get served short end of the stick as sound is set up for headliners - but not today! Sound was beautiful and, as you can see in the photo here, there is really minimal amount of equipment on stage. Guys play bravely and I was shocked I did not hear about them before as they were really really good. I could swear I heard something James-Bondish in one of the songs they played. Fun idiosyncrasy I also noticed is that their drummer plays with no shoes on, wearing only socks. They have some great music put up on their soundcloud page so go there and check it out.

After a short break Portman went up.

After a bit of commotion with the drumset they started out slowly and a bit pingy at first, with a bit too much cymbals which made whole sound picture dirty and unpolished but after first song it cleaned beautifully and Portman played their set of firm metal/stoner warp interwowen with classic postrockish weft. Another great discovery worth listening through from their SoundCloud page.

And then, after a minute change in stage setup, Maybeshewill went on stage...
... and they were all I imagined and hoped for and then some.

Sporting stickers and T-shirts by Nothing But Hope And Passion they were living, walking, music making epitome of that phrase. Surprised and moved by loving reception from Attack! audience they played their hearts out.

Song after song was beautifully clear and impeccably delivered and it felt so fulflling and overwhelmingly beautiful I was sincerely moved to tears. It was so utterly marvelous that if I closed my eyes, while standing amidst the biggest crowd a meter from stage, I could be so lost in exquisiteness of the music I felt no people surrounding me,... like I was standing in the middle of the field, immersed in beauty to such extent that music came from within me, not from outside.

They played and played and then played some more...

...and I did not feel the passage of time at all. They could have played their whole discography over and over again or just one second of one song - I was so filled with love I felt completely zen.

... heart's content...

After the show, in contrast with my usual routine I did not run away home immediately trying "to keep the music in my ears" but I stayed and watched the crowd disperse slowly. I did not talk. I did not drink. I did not move.

I just stood there letting the world flow by me and it felt like nothing I ever felt in my life.

Leaving Attack! I passed Jamie Ward in the hallway and I thanked him for the show and he smiled and nodded and it was perfect end to a perfect show.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Autumn Beauty


I drive through town from my new home to work on the other side of town.

Mornings are cool and beautiful, air is crisp and Soundset Plavi radio show hosts are making me laugh out loud in my car as I travel to work. I make my rounds, talk and pack and ship and negotiate and I leave for home tired and smiling.

I pick up my offspringess from school and she says: "Home, sweet home." as we enter our flat.

I cook dinner and she tells me about her day. We analyze and we plan ahead. We receive guests and play with friends. Often we share dinner with loved ones and we whine and motivate and preach.

In the evening we watch Star Trek or Mythbusters or Bleach or Lie to me or Life and we talk as I knit.

Later still I carry offspringess from my bed to hers and enjoy streching out some.

I hope I will never ever forget how I missed these simple pleasures of life.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Japandroids @Purgeraj 08Sep2012

I took some time off here, at the end of summer, and I was on vacation last two weeks after working the summer away. In this time information bombshell fell at the office and I was called home for consult on something every #*%$#* day... So opportunity for some R&R presented itself in a form of Japandroids concert that was announced at new Zagreb venue, NKC Park, and I went there to check up the place and soak up some noisy emotion-provoking goodness.

As is happens, my camera-phone fell into tub of water earlier that day and I was so pleased it was still working after some drying and tinkering with I naturally assumed it would serve me well at concert site...


... but it was so hot there, at small hall in Purgeraj, that the remaining water in the phone condensed on inner side of the lens and all my Be Forest pictures turned out like this.

Soft-edged, dreamy, retro-feel grainy. I love them. Just as I instantly loved Be Forest and their somnambulate, nostalgic sound of times passed, evocative and sweet, sensual yet performed by people so young and fairly attractive it was a paradox in itself to let oneself enjoy it fully. And I loooved them.

I mingled a bit and poked my nose around the venue and I enjoyed the company of friends as crowd gathered for the main event. Concert was sold out which did not surprise me but I was a bit surprised by multitude of people and compactness of space at Purgeraj. Small hall was jam-packed with people and it was difficult to see and difficult to breathe for me as I am not much of a people's person and I like my personal space unpopulated with people I'm not intimate with - so I squirmed out of the concert hall and back into the bar and there I noticed, with no small surprise and happiness, that there are screens in the bar space and in the outer terrace space showing camera feed from the stage!!!

I have heard and read oodles of silly remarks during past few days on how "this is not the same as watching the concert from first rows" and that "you can watch the concert like that from the comfort of your own living room" but I say: "Don't be daft!".

If I had wanted to watch the concert from first row I would get there in time to experience it like that. If I had wanted to press against people in the hot oven I'd do just that. In addition, you are forgeting that there are people that do not feel the inclination to jump into mosh pit but they still like being out with their friends that do. There are people that are just very short, or maybe disabled - having medical conditions like MS or are in a wheelchair that would very much appreciate having such a great opportunity to watch the show from few meters away but still to be sheltered and have full comfort of motion.

So I poked around some more and I mingled and I spoke with super-friendly bartenders and waiters and drank blueberry juice from ice-packed glasses with lovely giant straws and I still enjoyed the show very much. I had unparallel opportunity to observe friends and acquintances engulfed in wild extasy of singalongs, stagedivers, unknown secret lovers AND I still had enough time and space to take some more awful pictures of stars of the evening with my dried-out phone. Japandroids made for a great, energy-filled flying carpet of happiness and their showmanship and communication with the audience, both before and during the show was endearing.


This was one great night out, rapturous and multilayered, remedial for body and soul.