I’ve been hanging out a lot lately with people who are just
entering “the second round”.
They invested in a committed relationship (mostly marriages)
and after some time of not working out relationships have ended leaving them in
a state of neither here or there. They have done their grieving and now they
would like to find someone new to have relationship with. There are few things
here I find extremely interesting:
1. You can’t go home again
People who have truly gone through dating into wanting to
spend lives together do not/ cannot/want not to date like newbies who never had
“serious relationship”. They either have no trust to give upfront so that
relationship can begin or they wish to skip introductions and getting-to-knows to
just find themselves in full blown relationships.
2. Who you are is finally more important that what you have -
and that is a problem
Because many people (not always intentionally) amass possessions
with passage of time but LOSE who they are. They confuse their roles with their
identity so they present themselves like husbands, mothers, teachers instead of
guys/gals who teach and raise children and enjoy moonlit walks.
3. Known devil is better than unknown angel
New people and encounters need time and require routines to
break. Interrupting routine brings fear and discomfort which is often more off-putting
than potential relationships are attractive.