Friday, July 11, 2014

Simple Footsies

When weather grows warmer I get more into smaller, instant-gratification pieces of knitting, hence - footsies.

All shaping clearly visible: 2x2 rib cuff, short row heel, gusset and toe decreases.

These are really quick, I usually have a pair ready in two to three days. They are also extremely comfy and beside wearing them as socks I often wear them as apartment slippers. I have gone and written detailed row-by row instructions for most parts but if you are more familiar with sock making you will see that there is nothing new here and no need to read the whole thing.

Needles: I used 4 steel DPNs size 2 mm
Yarn: sock weight yarn, any leftovers would do nicely, as well as re-appropriating yarns after them being to frog pond and back into a ball. I had cardigan that wasn’t getting any “wear time” and now I have a lot of red socks J
Size: I wear shoes size 38-39 and these fit snugly (there will be some sizing suggestions)
Type: top-down

The cuff:

Using long tail cast on 70 stitches. Work preparation row by knitting all stitches and dividing total number of stitches to 3 needles so that first 30 stitches are on first needle, 20 are on second and 20 on third. First 30 stitches will be upper part of foot and remaining 40 stitches (20+20) will be the sole. Work 1x1rib for 15-20 rows, as this “cuff length” will be mostly aesthetic choice. Footsies pictured here have 20 1x1 rib rows and my rib is quite firm and elastic. If yours is less elastic consider using half a size smaller needle - it will fit snuglier to your ankle.

After making desired number of rib rows I usually differently divide the stitches so it will be more pleasant to work the heel; I knit first 30 stitches (upper foot), then knit 20 stitches (half a sole) and then use the free needle to transfer 15 stitches from the first needle onto it (that way upper foot is divided to 30=15+15) and then continue knitting the sole that being the first row of a short-row heel. During turning the heel you work knitting and purling by turning the work and wrapping stitches in the process until you are left with 12 middle stitches. This 12 stitches are midpoint of your heel and after that you go back to picking up end stitches and their wraps to return to 40 stitches you begun with.

After purling the last row of heel and turning back to right side of sock you knit 20 stitches, reunite 15 stitches of upper foot back with other 15 to free the needle (if you used my preferred way of dividing stitches), then use that needle to knit second 19 stitches of sole. Now that you’re left with 20th stitch of second sole part lift this stitch purl-wise, without knitting it, to right-hand needle. Then use free needle to lift one stitch from next needle (upper foot part) but 1 row below the one you are knitting now. You will see which stitch will be best to close the gap because when you take this and the paused twentieth stitch together to be k2tog the join will be nice and tight. So knit this one and begin next row. Knit 29 upper foot stitches and do with thirtieth stitch same you did with twentieth from needle before; just pause it by transferring it purl-wise to right-hand needle, find stitch one row below on sole side to lift and then knit paused and this lifted stitch reverse knit them together to close the gap. All that is left now is continue knitting in the round to form the foot.

Gusset decrease:

Knit 6 rounds and in 7th round decrease by knitting 30 from first needle, knit 1 from sole, k2tog, knit 17 to end of first sole needle, knit 17 from second sole needle, ssk, knit 1. Here you are basically decreasing total of 2 stitches (1left and 1 right) in sole part, 1 stitch inward from the ends. This is how you will decrease every 7th row 4 more times, until you have same number of upper foot and sole stitches (30+30).
Knit six rows.
Second decrease row (row 14 from the heel): knit 30 from first needle, knit 1 from sole, k2tog, knit 16 to end of first sole needle, knit 16 from second sole needle, ssk, knit 1.
Knit six rows.
Third decrease row (row 21 from the heel): knit 30 from first needle, knit 1 from sole, k2tog, knit 15 to end of first sole needle, knit 15 from second sole needle, ssk, knit 1.
Knit six rows.
Fourth decrease row (row 28 from the heel): knit 30 from first needle, knit 1 from sole, k2tog, knit 14 to end of first sole needle, knit 14 from second sole needle, ssk, knit 1.
Knit six rows.
Fifth decrease row (row 35 from the heel): knit 30 from first needle, knit 1 from sole, k2tog, knit 13 to end of first sole needle, knit 13 from second sole needle, ssk, knit 1.

By this time you have made 5x7=35 rows (if you counted correctly, which isn’t always easy :D) and  you need to keep working round and round for about 30 more rows what will lead you to beginning of toe decrease. I like to try on my sock now and then to see how am I coming along and if gauge really provides for desired length so please feel free to add or subtract a few rows as you see fit. If you are knitting a sock for somebody else you need at least length of his/her foot if not 1:1 sketch of foot or sock blockers in desired size so you can check for size.

Toe decrease:

To make neat and decorative  toes use the same trick of making decreases one stitch inward from ends of row. This way there will always be two knit stitches between decreases on sides of your toes. You decrease 4x1 stitch in each decrease row and decrease rows will be every other row.
First decrease row: k1, k2tog, knit 24, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k12 for first needle and k12, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row.
Second decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 22, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k11 for first needle and k11, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Third decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 20, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k10 for first needle and k10, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row.
Fourth decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 18, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k9 for first needle and k9, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Fifth decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 16, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k8 for first needle and k8, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Sixth decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 14, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k7 for first needle and k7, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Seventh decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 12, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k6 for first needle and k6, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Eighth decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 10, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k5 for first needle and k5, ssk, k1 for second needle.
Knit one row:
Ninth decrease row: : k1, k2tog, knit 8, ssk, k1 on first needle (upper foot) and the same for sole. If your sole is still equally divided on 2 needles this will be k1, k2tog, k4 for first needle and k4, ssk, k1 for second needle.

Now you have 12 stitches on first needle and 12 stitches for sole that you should put on one needle, if not already done. Knit one last row of 12+12 stitches. These you will now join with Kitchener stitch so you will have nice, seamless toe. If you have never worked Kitchener stitch this is excellent project to try it because there are only 12 “columns” to join and since this is the last thing between you and your lovely new footsie you will be extra motivated.

Additionally, after you are done kitchenering, if you are not satisfied with density (invisibility) of this row you can make some extra tightening from the wrong (purl) side before you weave in the end. Row being so small gives you plenty of room to improve your kitchenering and, if you will not be pleased with your work even then, this part is usually hidden in a shoe so you won’t be constantly reminded of this grief :D

And for the end, some sizing suggestions.

Mechanics of the sock making is always the same. For top down sock this means that there will always be cuff, heel, gusset and toes. You can make size adjustments by casting on smaller number of stitches but let it be proportionally smaller for upper foot and sole. So, for instance, for slightly smaller foot you can cast:
 28(upper foot)+38(sole part)=total  or 66 stitches 
26+36= 62 stitches
24+34=58 stitches

or slightly bigger:
32 (upper foot) +42 (sole part) =74 stitches
34+44=78 stitches
... but work with them as described - decreasing for heel until 12 middle stitches remain, have 5 gusset decreases and decrease toes until 12(x2) stitches remain.

For smaller feet you can make gusset decreases every 6th or fifth row and make less rows before starting the toes, and for bigger feet make decreases every 8th or 9th row and/or make more rows before starting the toes.

I always enjoy seeing things other people made while using my patterns so please do share :)

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Raising Children

I have recently integrated two kittens into our small household comprised of my almost 10 year old daughter, hamster and me.

We have been living - my daughter and I - in the apartment I bought for us to live in, since 15Jun2012, and hamster has joined us in September 2012. I have been divorced for going on seven years now and, after what I would like to think about as “brief interlude” of living with my parents, we moved here. I have been primary caretaker and responsibility axis for our family unit continuously during this time, but that fact completely crystallized for me only after we came to live here.

Even though I suspected that it is so during my years of living in Rijeka while attending college it only just became clear to me how much I enjoy being sovereign of my own household. Just like any sovereign’s rule, stemming from his/her birthright (in all practical sense making him/her product - or victim -  of circumstance), this is also rule produced by natural order of me being biological parent and financial provider but, as it happens, other members of my household are apt and pleasant and more than able to grow and learn and take responsibilities. So we will in time grow from kingdom into direct democracy :D

But I digress - let us return to the kittens.

When we took them in they were just over 4 weeks old, real babies. Before they arrived I got us books on caring for kittens and I got them shelter, foodstuffs, toilet, toys. We made sure they were weaned off milk before separating them from mom cat so they would be fully independent in that regard but we knew that they are still babies and that we’ll need to care for them. And by “we” I mean I, who took the task of caring for kittens and task of teaching my offspring to care for kittens. We trained kittens to use the toilet in a day [this is me proudly bragging] by being observant and firm in our directions (my MSc Psych certainly isn’t going to waste J), and they have been provided with food and drink. House is full of toys and play and we take great care not to put them in danger and to keep them safe and healthy and it is - for me - quite similar to having new batch of human babies. Just like 9 years ago with my offspring, I am now observing, getting to know, feeding and cleaning after two small new creatures. They cry and play and shit when they feel like it and I can only adjust, just like I had to adjust for my daughter. I can try to direct some “hows” and “wheres” but I cannot control any developmental processes. We can only get acquainted with the person in that tiny body and try to be his/her friend and someone they can rely on for nurture, protection and guidance.

And that got me contemplating children.

I used to think children will not be an option for me but nevertheless I thought it would be nice to have three of those :D

When I met my ex-husband and we decided to pursue monogamous committed relationship we agreed on having children and we made one, but soon it was obvious that he was not really into raising and providing for them. After a short while it also became obvious that we won’t be staying together and he had the audacity to offer procreation as a means of appeasing me (to what I could just laugh since him stopping drinking would have been a lot more successful offer). After a much longer while, after separation and divorce, I offered procreation to my then-boyfriend but he was not interested in having his own children (or maybe having them with me, you never can tell). Time went by and with the passage of time and keener sense of listening to myself I came to a conclusion that I certainly do not want to have more children any more.

What makes me sad sometimes, since I seem to be very good at raising them. And I also have the patience and experience to endure the exhausting boring part.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Fastest Way To a Person's Heart

I’ve been hanging out a lot lately with people who are just entering “the second round”.

They invested in a committed relationship (mostly marriages) and after some time of not working out relationships have ended leaving them in a state of neither here or there. They have done their grieving and now they would like to find someone new to have relationship with. There are few things here I find extremely interesting:

1. You can’t go home again
People who have truly gone through dating into wanting to spend lives together do not/ cannot/want not to date like newbies who never had “serious relationship”. They either have no trust to give upfront so that relationship can begin or they wish to skip introductions and getting-to-knows to just find themselves in full blown relationships.

2. Who you are is finally more important that what you have - and that is a problem
Because many people (not always intentionally) amass possessions with passage of time but LOSE who they are. They confuse their roles with their identity so they present themselves like husbands, mothers, teachers instead of guys/gals who teach and raise children and enjoy moonlit walks.

3. Known devil is better than unknown angel
New people and encounters need time and require routines to break. Interrupting routine brings fear and discomfort which is often more off-putting than potential relationships are attractive.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Some Sketches From Concert Cornucopia Week

There were so many things happening last week I would hate to lose them in the hectic passage of time so I'll add a few sketches here so I can remind myself of this concert cornucopia at a later time.

Firstly, as a sort of intermission during Žedno Uho Festival I went to see Kurve (Hookers) with a friend. They played at Subsite party in Attack! and  they were so unbeliavably excellent my blood stil boils and body yearns to join the mosh pit when I remember that.

You can hear my favorite "Od sutra" here on their bandcamp page but if you will have chance to go and hear it live DO NOT miss it.

Ben Frost at Mocvara played during last day of Žedno Uho and his show was both technical masterpiece and completely outworldly. Reminiscent of SF movie soundtracks, both ominous and filled with sticky attraction it was like living through concentrated Blade Runner.

After Frost, Forest Swords who I actually love listening to at home came as a cold shower. I am unsure should I write that botched crap of performance to their youth and lack of experience or just to condescending douchebaggery they seemed to reek with.

I also went to see some Gričevanje performances  and I chose to listen to Punčke to see how they are coming along. Girls were energetic and fun and I disliked only long sound adjustments between songs that mess up continuity of otherwise really good show. I could also see that they are seriously preparing to open for QOTSA as the only thing left from their punk is short duration of songs and they have crossed over to firm rock sound.

I was finally able to catch Repetitor which somehow eluded me for so long and I was left stupified and speechless. The energy, the unity, the firm and confident slick and beautiful act! Absolutely wonderful!

I managed to take Belgian colleague visiting our Zagreb office to Flood Relief concert in Mocvara and to hear Nina Romić's Bicikl once again live (there is something uncanny in how this song just strips me of my defenses).

And after a long time chasing and not managing to catch them ESC Life finally added to my etchings :D

Monday, May 26, 2014

Žedno Uho Festival - Lawrence English and Hauschka @ Teatar &TD

I like Žedno Uho Festival (Thirsty Ear Festival).

There usually are some performers I know in the lineup but what I like most about TEF is the rest of them; the unknown but mastefully curated. I feel that every time I buy a ticket and commit to attending TEF I buy a ticket into broadening my mind. I learn A LOT and I feel there A LOT and I see A LOT of performers with passion and ethics that constitute healthy and exquisite craft. That's why I bought the ticket early this year (it was number 4) and why I was eagerly waiting for TEF to start.

As life is what it is I was not able to attend all of intended program but the parts I was able to see looked like this.

Day 2 took place in Student Center in Downtown Zagreb, in Teatar &TD and it was said that it will start in quarter past 8 p.m.

It was still sunny and beautiful and I used this opportunity of visiting "the city" to take care of more concert ticket purchases. I came to Student Center early and I had time to bask in the setting sun and intoxicating smell of linden trees.

At 8 I went in and bought myself a beer. It was draft and properly cooled and in that moment tasted nothing short of liquid happiness. I mingled a bit and watched the audience gather and soon ambled after them to Semicircular hall. In the middle of the small hall there were two tables with equipment and around them were some bean bags and chairs and some empty space to sit on. Everything was really close and comfy and people sat here and there and it felt very homey. Lawrence English, really handsome guy that seems to have excellent people skills, gave us couple of instructions and a small interlude to what is he going to play for us; Almost Nothing by Luc Ferrari. Audio started and transported us to Vela Luka.

This audio piece is not music but mixture of sounds that I believe all of us know since this is a part of audio picture of every small town (and suburb) in Dalmatia. It is so "true to the source" one can literally discern what every particicular sound is and this composition flows like a movie in one's mind eye.

Beautiful and quite therapeutic, I might add, because for the duration of its performance I felt completely out of Zagreb and May and forgot that it was a worknight and that tomorrow there is still Friday to tackle.

When it finished we emerged from the darkened hall into the path outside where evening was just stretching her paws and we meandered back toward the main hall.

Hauschka begun around 10-ish, a little later then expected, because of a mishap with his luggage. He apologized and was very polite and endearing and then started to play. He was my main reason to come to TEF as I fell in love with his music first time I heard it. I listen to it often when I'm home but I was wary of how this would be as a visual experience. My fears proved immaterial as soon as we went in into the Hall, prepared for a sitting concert, with piano center stage and large screen showing the artist and the inside of his instrument.

In every song there were knickknacks used and put into or onto the piano, making noises, tones and sounds complementing and completing the music. Sound was terrific, artist in good spirits, audience interested and receptive.

It was excellent and I enjoyed it immensely. Hauschka talked and gave us some insights into his creative process and his personality. I nodded and smiled and was a few times caught in a whirlwind of imagination. He was captivating both talking and playing and I loved how he came across both in mastery and humility.

In the end, as an encore he played a song after dropping a bunch of small balls into the piano and this was the most thrilling thing I ever saw during a live performance. Artists are usually quite concerned with how things will go and want to avoid unpredictability at all cost but this song - it was just the opposite! It was both celebration of skill and of randomness.

Just like life is.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Warm Bodies

Sometimes I feel that every time I’m having a bad day the Universe just gets up, off its ass, and cranks out personalized calm-bringer. Like Warm Bodies.

Original movie poster

I absolutely love this movie and now, after reading through a throng of very silly reviews, I thought to add my two cents to the pot.

Why do I love this movie and what is so special in it?

Well, three things: presentation, intelligence and emotion


This is not a zombie movie.

Warm bodies is a story of zombies for just as much as Star Trek is a story of aliens or Cars is a story of automobiles. They are all stories of people, of humans presented in different packaging material to accentuate one or the other aspect of humanity.

Exceptional thing in Warm Bodies is that such a powerful iconography is used to prepackage our humans one has to actually get involved with a story to be able to accept that there is no suspension of disbelief to be used in regard with creatures. Movie is filmed beautifully, with great photography, color, costumes and scenes. It all looks fully saturated, rich, beautiful and - effortless. There is not a scene or minute in this film that does not stay in the pace of the movie and that has any kind of atmosphere but that of perfect sync. It flows beautifully from scene to scene never losing momentum and showing great cohesion.


There is nothing in this world I love as much as intelligence. Understanding the mechanics of the world and using this understanding to put selection of parts in new organizations to showcase understanding the mechanics of the world - can there be any more beautiful way to celebrate intelligence?

This is not a zombie movie.

It already says so in the promotional blurb: “After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.”

There is a part in Pratchett’s Thief of time where Susan, grade school teacher and Death’s granddaughter interacts with her pupils:

Miss Susan held up the cardboard clock and said: 'Who can tell me what this is?'
A forest of hands shot up.
'Yes, Miranda?'
'It's a clock, miss.'
Miss Susan smiled, carefully avoided the hand that was being waved by a boy called Vincent, who was also making frantically keen 'ooo, ooo, ooo' noises, and chose the one behind him.
'Nearly right,' she said. 'Yes, Samuel?'
'It's all cardboard made to look like a clock,' said the boy.
'Correct. Always see what's really there.'

Always see what's really there.

Both the writer and the director have gone to great lengths to put everything we need to understand this movie right in front of us and - more often than not - to verbally confirm it. This movie is an allegoric presentation of current society, biased commentary advocating particular way of life as functionally better than other options. Humans, corpses and boneys are not different species. They are all humans and the thing in which they differ is - caring (or empathy, as many existing psychological and philosophical theories already postulate). Further away people get from sense of empathy, less human they become. If you are unsure how this looks and works just have a look around you and you will surely see all of these three “species”.


What I love most in this movie is relationships. I was already impressed with director’s view of relationships in his previous movie 50/50 and Warm Bodies show similar, even nicely profiled connectedness. There are no crazy plot twists, no unexplainable behaviors defying logic, no stupid tricks to fit square pegs into round holes.

Just life.

Friendship, longing, concern, overwhelm-ness, pride, shame, attraction, care - they are all shown just like they appear in life and through them the story is progressed. We do our best, in real time, and we hope that our best will be enough. Other people still have to notice, understand, interpret our behaviors and react to them for any interpersonal action to happen. It is pure bliss seeing how meticulously this mechanics is shown - and how effortless it looks. Voiceovers not being narration but a stream of thought works miracles in making this story engaging, understandable and warm.

It seems that empathy, just like romance (and punk! :D), is still not dead.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Notwist @ Mocvara 11Apr2014

During one recent argument with my daughter I noticed one very curious thing.

We were enjoying a day of hiking and socializing with some dear friends and while we were walking downhill to our car, conversing and laughing, she asked if we are going to go with friends to their home and stay there for a few hours more. As we have already spent whole day together, climbed a mountain, ate lunch and descended and were pretty tired I said "No, we’re all going to go home and rest a bit and savor that lovely day." to what she got angry and frustrated and started to cry. Faced with that reaction I said that it makes no sense to growl and cry when she now has whole day of wonderful experiences to enjoy and remember (hiking and lunch with friends) as opposed to crying over something that will never even happen (going to friends’ place).

She is, of course, only learning her limits and the art of “knowing when to stop”, but… it seems that I am too.

I have this… hurt… that I’m nursing in my inside, never allowing it to heal.

There was this The Notwist concert at Mocvara two weeks ago (on 11Apr2014). I bought the ticket as soon as they were released and I was waiting eagerly for this concert because I really love their music. Also, I was really terrified. So terrified, in fact, that I have in the morning of the concert tweeted:

It says:"I'm listening to Notwist in preparation for tonight's gig and I can see that this will be one of those days when I get so fucked up I need a fortnight for comeback." 

I went to The Notwist gig at Teatar&TD 26Apr2008. It was one of the first gigs I went to after I decided to really stand behind my love of music and the wish to make music more than just background noise of life. It is the first gig that I “attended” at network which will subsequently become the flywheel of my life. It was also the first gig I went to with my then boyfriend, when love was budding fresh and shiveringly passionate.

I still remember very vividly how was it to stand there, in that jam-packed hall, and French kiss while Consequence was ringing through the air, owning it.

Leave me paralyzed, love
Leave me hypnotized, love

And now, I was supposed to go and listen to Notwist while that guy would not stand next to me but also somewhere in the audience in that hall. And for the rest of my life, somewhere in the audience in this world.

It sucks to be acutely aware of the meaning of never.
It also sucks knowing that “never” may not actually mean never and that this is only important for just as long as I actually care.
Caring sucks but sucks waaaaay less than that person I become when I stop caring.
The hurt inside that I spoke of in the beginning of this part is a hurt of my fear of becoming the person that does not care, again, and staying that person, indefinitely.

So I got my shit together and I went to see The Notwist, even through hurt and fear.

I met a friend for drinks before and she did not ask me anything and I did not tell her anything and she kept me company and lulled me to safety with talk of everyday things and business of music. We walked together toward Mocvara part of the way and we hugged when we parted. Few moments later I was in Mocvara and Jel was just getting ready to go on stage.

That was one funny act.

Jel played ok songs, not really my cup of rapping tea, but his comments in between songs were what I will remember him by. When another friend came by, a little later, I remember saying: “It is ok, until he speaks” through laughter when she gave me the inquiring look.

He spoke of Crank soundtrack, of Jason Statham, of being watched from above, of consumerism, of being among Germans for too long and that their “Romantisch” meaning “quick fuck” is so far far away from romantic he is used to as an American. Funniest part was him pointing out that “…knives are dangerous. Well, guns too, but knives are really dangerous. You can cut yourself with one.”

After a short pause and some mingling The Notwist stepped on stage.

What I love most in their live acts is that none of their songs sound like they sound on the albums. They add, they subtract, they play within playing. They piss on field dependence. They make fun of the pedestal we put them on. They fcukin’ enjoy playing.

I love that.
I love that.

All iconic songs that get singalong treatments from mindless, emotion-engulfed crowds, were broken. At one time or another they would add some radical change, new sound, critical difference that did not allow for the live act to become boring reproduction of material that was once recorded. It was all new, fresh, untarnished with time and repetition.

They were in good spirits from the beginning. I stood in the third row, stage in full view, at arm’s reach. Stage was simple but bulging with equipment. There was also a million lights.

Sound was excellent.

Močvara was full, but not uncomfortably hot or packed. Strangers around me were keeping their distance and were pleasantly involved with their own enjoyment.

I danced and I danced and I mouthed some lyrics soundlessly and my overcharged body was vibrating with emotional charge.

Thinking about the gig, imagining how it would be I was afraid of one song or the other but when we came to One With The Freaks I was already in tears

Have you ever?
Have you ever been all messed up?
Have You ever?

… and things suddenly fell into perspective.

It makes no sense to growl and cry when I have all this wonderful experiences to enjoy and remember (spending time with a person that I thought the love of my life at that time) as opposed to crying over something that will never even happen (family).
To begin enjoying all the wonderful experiences I just have to


They played Pilot, Gloomy planets, Pick up the phone, they played new songs of which I still don’t know song names by heart, they played everything and anything and we danced and we, all of us, the band and the audience, enjoyed visibly.

They finished and we called them back and they played some more.

I love how pleased musicians bow. Endeared and accomplished and thankful all in one. Like a person that has just fallen in love with someone.

And then they came out for second encore and they played Consequence. I was crying so hard I felt my lungs gasp for air and my nose was wet, sniffling. Consequence was like a foil sword (floret) that stabs precisely, without cutting. High functionality, no energy wasting.

The Notwist bowed again, their happiness palpable and real.

Mine too.