Carnival preparations are drawing ever quicker to a close, these mouse ears finished today are the last thing I agreed to make for growing army of offspringians. I completely hate carnival time. I despise the fact of notion that masks are needed to draw sincerity to the surface. I'm sickened by emptiness of Lent promises and whole this choreography is... sickening. I've always felt this way so what these mouse ears really are is a surprising sign of me softening. It really is true that: "Adults do not make children. It is children who make adults."
Last night guys from Man Zero gave great performance at MM center in Zagreb. This is one exeptional and intimate space, where performers and listeners are put in very cosy environment and I liked the feeling of almost participating in performance by being so close. Watching their act and being so close I kept noticing little details that I do not usually have chance to notice; idiosyncrasies possibly revealing person and performer both. So the drummer was playing enthralled, making lots of facial expressions and mannirisms and extra movements and almost communications that it looked like there is another performance alltogether going on inside him, as if he was that way making visible only the tip of the performance iceberg. I was so reminded, from individual to archetype, how impossible it is to truly share an experience. To make visible all constitutes of playing or constructing something or orgasming.
Young Gods are obviously not so young anymore yet they give godly performance nevertheless. I had new hairstyle and I danced 'till my feet hurt and still I wasn't able to overpower my inner nagger. There is something rotten in the state of Denmark. I am doing something about it. I believe I am doing it the needed way. I do not care if my actions are weird and nonconformistic. I do care if it yields desired crop.
I'm spending this day in Varazdin, beautiful baroque city in northern Croatia. There is some work to be done and a lot of familiarizing with new people and environment. I'm mostly collecting tasks for the weekend this week so I can think about what I'm doing not just trot along as ordered. Tonight I'm gonna go and watch Young Gods perform at Kset and I'm looking forward to that.
There was one great moment last week when I was revisiting old Bleach episodes... When Shinji appears for the first time in Karakura High he writes his name and explains it a bit in a kind of awkward geek joke - something I did notice first time watching it - teacher remarking that his writing is backwards and Shinji replying with something like "Yes, I'm good at it." And only now when I have watched hundreds of episodes more and found out about Shinji's zanpakuto abilities this joke finally makes sense.
Spring is slowly creeping ever closer, soon we will forget trials of winter just like they were never here. I've been too distracted lately to write here and also too angry not to spew bitterness so I'm taking it slow for now. Hopefully there will be some better pictures now that warmer and better lighted days are coming.