Thief

It was Saturday, first half of February, when I first heard Thief.

I was alone in my car, running some errands, as offspringess was with her father
and I was listening to Saturday morning scheme on YammatFM
when Thief started.

Everything stopped.

I was standing at the traffic light behind Vrapče train station when the piano beginning rolled slowly into cool winter morning and synthy rhythm line swished katana-esque through my innards.
I parked just down the street and scribbled a note into my phone:
"Skin on my skin, what a wonderful sin"
as I listened to the song intently, with movie scene from the lyrics flickering inside my inner eye
then went about my business.

When I came home I googled the words and then sat in awe in front of my PC watching the official video.

Magic.




I love everything about this song;
wonky, emotion-tugging, youthful choice of words
as if speaking from the teenage pit of darkness
with always blurred into forever.

I've been living in the darkness
Shadows in my apartment, heartless
Taking love just to spill it on parchment
Next page and I'm out again
I've been living in the night life
Lips hit you like a drive by, frost bite
Ice cold, I mean they cut you like a sharp knife
Next page and I'm out again

I love the cinematic, short visual sentence style
with crisp and simple musical background
resulting in just perfect, soul-splitting delivery.

Skin on my skin, what a wonderful sin
Take your breath but you're asking for more
The tip of my finger is tracing your figure
I say good night and walk out the door

I may, of course, be partial to mr. Elgort's cause
and to nonexplicit, romanticized, relatable presentation of innately explicit disdainful motif
as I myself more often than not feel thievish in matters of carnal connections
but even with this bias counted in this is just the loveliest, earth-shatteringly beautiful picture of a person torn by intrapersonal guilt trying to dispose of responsibility reins.

We can be so hollow
Like my rib cage, the echoes follow
Follow me like the fears I swallow
And drown in all my mistakes
All I know is if my skin bled
Like the ink dripped from my pen
My bed will be drenched in a scarlet rose red
And drown in all my mistakes

I would be willing to bet my life that Mr. Elgort is nothing like the protagonist
but he and the rest of the team wrote an awesome song
and his brother directed and edited an awesome retro-feel video
featuring Ansel and his long-time partner
and it is just a perfect piece of art,
one that depicts life just as smoothly and vividly as the experience does.

Sarariman

Went out Saturday night.

My usual scheme these days is:

- to attend some event purposely

- not to ask for company for specific attendance but to go alone

- to come just before the event, to minimize idleness (also mingling)

- to have just 1-2 drinks while there

- to leave as soon as the event ends

Yes, it is just as cautious as it sounds.

I’d rather err on the side of caution than on the side of having to explain my unwillingness to share.

Not that I mind explaining, it is just people being offended by explanations.

But Saturday night bucked

so I got summoned

to share some drinks and some words

before everything I had planned

so I idled

and I drank

and felt just like sarariman let loose from his noose

and it felt fuckin’ great.

I’m truly sure I was a pain in the butt

But it felt as good AF

And it took me two days to come to

Since being in venues that allow smoking gives me the worst hangover

THE WorsT

But it freed me from myself

And from this overbearing need to control

Everything.