Thursday, May 16, 2013

Music Thursday - Piece Full Coexistence

I have already written in a previous Musical Thursday here about my nomadic position in a society of musical tribes and now I would like to talk a little bit more in this direction. I'd like to describe and maybe think aloud about sharing life space with another person with her own set of preferences.

Until now, during my lifetime, I had a few changes of living conditions.

First I lived with my parents as their child, along with my brother. They had their preferences and I had mine and we functioned under rules on non-engagement. We could all object to music somebody else chose to listen and we could try to agree on a record or a radio station we could all tolerate. If no agreement was achieved there would be no listening for any of the involved parties. This worked better with my parents than my brother whose tolerance for diversity is tiny and we would be hard pressed to achieve any agreement except "we agree to disagree". Good thing is that he never listened to any kind of music to enjoy it but his choices fulfilled other, mostly social, agendas. That is good because when there were no agendas to meet he did not request for any radio/TV use time.

After that I shared a flat with a flatmate during college. This did not pose a problem since each of us had a separate room and enough common decency not to play music too loud. Beside him being the best flatmate ever fate would have it so we shared musical tastes (post-rock) and we often attend same gigs today and exchange opinions on new music.

Next step was (short lived) marriage: Mr. Ex had narrower musical preference (mostly metal) than mine so I could listen to almost all of his music  and he could listen to a small portion of mine but we rarely got into conflict over it since we did not spend much listening time together. When we went out together he would often complain on music at  clubs/bars and said I was too lenient, but the matter of the fact was that I was not complaining because I liked other choices, not that I was too hesitant to complain as he perceived it.

Today I live with my daughter and she is almost nine and she is great to live with and to listen to music with.

How is it like?

Ever since she was just a bundle of cells in my insides we listened to music together. First it was Linkin Park. We listened to a lot of Linkin park before she was born and when she arrived she loved listening to it as it soothed her. As she grew we had our share of differences - worst time is when they adore repetitive TV tunes - but we time-shared if we could not compromise. She is very strong-willed and she likes to form her own opinions and I love that we can work with that.

We listen to radio a lot and when she notices a song she likes she always asks what it is so she can write it down and we can get/play it again. At school they sometimes listen to music and she comes home with scribbled notes of songs and performers she liked - latest being Impossible by James Arthur (Shontelle song) - and then we browse through YouTube (she types and I cook dinner) and listen to different versions. This was the best one - AND in the process we found a performer we did not know of and is great (Runaground):

She's not afraid to roam through genre - emulating my listening habits at this point in time - liking diverse styles of Pasi and Pink and Drowning Pool and PSY and Yip Deceiver - and at this time it looks like this is fully internalized desire, but we will see. I like how, even now, she gets into situations at school and among friends or adults when she defends her opinion and she defends it rationally and firmly. She fell in love with Yip Deceiver "Sadie Hawkins Day" last year and even though I rarely remember to play it nowadays she frequently plays it and requests we listen to it.

At one point we made a mix-tape of our favorite Japanese songs and she knows lyrics of many of them by heart. Like this one: Sid "Ranbu no Melody":

She is also not afraid to criticize. Few nights ago I browsed through YouTube and there was an add linking to Vampire Weekend clip directed by Steve Buscemi and I played it to see what the hype is all about and she asked, listening from her room: "What is that crap you're listening to?"

To be able to share and mix and piece together the puzzle of our music cohabitation gives me great joy, even if we have to work on appropriate language some more.

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