Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Happy Days

Last few weeks I have been ruminating on this here blog about men’s  stories, especially relationship narratives (not necessarily romantic in nature) and about self-perceived shortcomings that can be remodeled at will. Many posts are connected to song lyrics and all of them are things I think about when awake, and feel even when asleep. If you’re into this kind of tales go and see other posts with tag “On Relationships”.
And now, let’s continue.

Not all paramount stories will be lengthy and enveloped in indie rock.

Often you can find both truth and sense beneath it all in a place not artificially distanced from emotion. I already wrote about punk and what it means to me, and to shortly summarize I highly appreciate its direct and vivacious nature. What I also often feel, especially listening to Kurve (Hookers), is pure genius of punk lyrics: simple and repetitive enough so even the weakest link can enjoy their energy - any yet filled with profound sense of how the world operates.

Official promotional photo of the first album "Su Bolje Majke"

My favorite Kurve song with relationship narrative is Happy days (Sretni dani) and I have translated it here to illustrate this point even though they sing it in Croatian.

I love how they captured the essence of both contemporary society using formally accepted indicators of politeness (“please, thank you, here you are, excuse me” is a part of school-age rhyme showcasing well brought up and polite person) and common relationship dynamics by which man may be the initiator but women are ones calling the shots and allowing things to progress.

please, thank you
here you are, excuse me
you allow me to gnaw on your
tired bones
they are the feast of this
mongrel dog
please, thank you
here you are, excuse me

It is awesome to see so much commonly overlooked truth displayed in such a short verse. Happy days are the ones propelled with candor and openness, before calculations take center stage in a relationship. Happiness stems from desire, from pleasure, from being able to approach and resolve interpersonal issues directly, without need to base relations on need and interdependence created by shortcomings.

happy days
when we're in heat
happy days
when we fuck
happy days
when we don't give ourselves
to need each other
to eat each other

Part of the second verse with “Happy days when we don’t give ourselves…” refers to later stages in progress of a relationship when people forget that the interdependence relationship rests upon is not obligatory part of a relationship, it is an optional part they themselves have chosen (to progress the relationship, no less!). So to act like a hostage is completely unnecessary and actually rude, especially if you force responsibilities onto someone before even discussing them. I love how they have summed up both pleasure and tedium in a few words, the right words, like an open-ended question that reveals one’s true intentions.

It is possible to stay in this blessed time, in the happy days of fucking and pleasure and good relations indefinitely if your interrelation is based on trust (you can even patch up broken ones if you don’t spare the effort), but only if you preserve and cultivate trust and agree to carry your own responsibility. It boggles my mind to see so few people abiding to these simple rules of conduct.

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