Monday, January 29, 2018


Part 4 of TBD

New year started on an interesting, yet familiar, note
with (two accounts thus far of) young* beautiful men approaching me IRL, rather than my mind feeding me those during my sleep.
This is not a precedent but is nevertheless strange and unexpected,
and was I vain this woud surely be wonderful fodder for my vanity
but in the circumstances as they are this is more of a burden.

Why is this a burden?

Actually, this looks like the best time to think about this out loud, since there's noone that could take offense as my time is my own and I'm in no fault with any allegiance or commitment.

Of course, I cannot be completely sure, but few traceable facts and educated guesses are that:
- I'm very often told I look quite younger than my age (by people of both genders and many ages)
- young people approach me because they are deceived by my looks (and probably drawn by my openness)
- they did not approach me before just because there was no opportunity since I was usually accompanied by friends (which acted like a barrier both due to socializing constraint and also because it was probably easier not to mis-assess my age in the reference group),
- and now that I usually go out alone the comparison is lacking so I appear as an potential mate

It is a burden because my wish for transparency dictates I should reveal the disproportion
(and there is one, even if it proves irrelevant AFTER informed consent is given)
but it nevertheless feels like going from conflict to conflict
(as it trims short their flirting opportunity by revealing waay too early potential resolutions of the interpersonal situation).

One more interesting bit:
not only young MEN approach me
but young women do not care of the age gap since it is not so strictly socioculturaly penalized in LGBT community like it is in hetero community.

I may be biased but it looks to me that liking someone means more in LGBT community, since it obeys no convention. And I'm not saying this because it would be more beneficial to me in this situation but rather because I think hetero convention could (and ultimately will have to) learn from this approach.

*and when I say young I mean 15 years my junior so at this time this would be 25 as I will be 40 in a month and a half. So I'm not old enough yet for 15 years junior to be truly irrelevant :D

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