Sunday, October 25, 2015


After you separate from your spouse, however public your differences were, you become less than welcome in the homes of all coupled friends and acquaintances.

When you visit a couple that lives in a way that includes black eyes and broken ribs explained by way of awkwardly opening kitchen cabinets and unfortunately losing step on the stairs they sit with you and assure you: "Do not worry, it will all be well - you're going to be back together in no time!"  

When you visit a couple in an acute power struggle they never sit with you together at the same time and at least one will say to you, with great conviction and too loudly for it to be only a message for you to take: "Good riddance! You did not need that piece of shit!"

Sometimes, somewhere, but very rarely you'll be greeted with a hug and a smile, given a comforting drink and asked: "How are YOU doing?" and "How can we help?".

After these first visits, when time (and not words only) starts to show that you are truly going to go through with divorce, world not only divides into your friends and his/her friends but also ones that can and cannot bear your lifestyle change. 

It is difficult not to take this personally but it helps to remember that you're not the only protagonist of this situation. The situation stars all the people coming into contact with it, in their own little universes and all the feelings of the people shaken with this decision. Keep some and let others go, whoever really can be friend will never be lost.

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